The terms “healthy” and “health” have been buzzwords for years, now. However, recently we’re finding them attached to terms like “mental”, “emotional”, and “relationship”. This is for a good reason.
How healthy, or unhealthy, your relationship is can set the tone for the rest of the pieces of your life. More than anything else, a person’s romantic partner is most likely to be the most persuasive factor in career choices, life choices, and health choices.
Sometimes, knowing where to draw the line at what’s healthy versus not healthy can be blurred. Relationships and good relationships isn’t something that you learn in school.
In addition, our parents’ generation, the Baby Boomers, had one of the highest divorce rates of all time. Even to this day, they top the charts of current divorce rates. While every other generation is on the decline for divorce, our parents’ generation of rates are still doubling. (More on this matter and the source here.) So even if your parents stayed together during your childhood, they may have split during your adulthood. This signals that despite outward appearances, something somewhere may have gone wrong and created misleading ideas as to what a healthy relationship actually looks like throughout your childhood and home life.
I’m going to walk you through several common indicators of a healthy relationship and how each should feel to you and your partner. If at the end of this article you feel as though you need to take further steps, I suggest starting with a couple’s counselor and checking out a few more popular articles, such as How to Know When to End a Relationship, Top 5 Common Relationship Problems and How to Handle Them, The 10 Commandments of a Healthy Relationship, and Normal Relationship Doubt vs. Serious Relationship Doubt.
You communicate freely and often with each other.
This piece has many connecting pieces in order to make a whole picture. Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. One important aspect is the ability to use your humor, especially during difficult situations and conversations. Using humor indicates that you are comfortable enough in your relationship to relax and enjoy each other’s presence.
Another important aspect that points to a health relationship is feeling as though no topic is “off limits”. You can go to your partner about anything. You feel like you can be open with about when something they did hurt you. You believe they are listening and want to hear you when you speak.
In turn, you’re interested in what they have to say from their opinion on the morning news to what’s aching their heart. You want to learn more about who your partner is and what they need from you. All these things are great indicators of a healthy relationship.
You completely trust your partner and feel like you can be honest without repercussions.
A large part of trust is feeling like you are able to be your whole, true self without fearing judgment, condemnation, and/or punishment.
A safe environment to speak openly, freely, and honestly is vital to the prosperity of every relationship. In order to create this safe environment, both you and your partner need to feel there’s trust in the relationship.
There is no question of loyalty. In addition, there’s an understanding in the relationship that this loyalty is part of the foundation of the relationship. It allows you both to engage in meaningful conversations, grow closer, and develop a deep relationship.
How healthy, or unhealthy, your relationship is can set the tone for the rest of the pieces of your life. Click To TweetYou feel respected, understood, and cherished.
In a healthy relationship, you and your partner thrive off equality and mutual respect. This means, during arguments, engaging in equal measure at problem solving instead of resorting to name calling, belittling, and/or yelling.
It also means that you each put in effort to create moments of care, such as doing little things for each other in hopes to help the other out or to better the life of the other person. These are usually small gestures, such as doing the dishes, giving small gifts, and putting on the other’s favorite movie for the fun of it.
It’s important to you that your partner knows how important they are in your life and that they have a special space in your world.
You feel supported and desire to support your partner in return.
Your partner is as excited about your dreams as you are. They believe that, not only are you more than capable of accomplishing them, but that you will. They want to help you get there. In addition, you also have a deep desire to see your partner succeed for their own benefit.
Another common support aspect in healthy relationships is that when you or your partner go through an individual hardship, you want to support each other, offer help, and learn how to move forward together.
You both have separate identities, dreams, and desires outside of the relationship.
While you are both attached to the wellbeing of the other, your personal wellbeing is not dependent on the mood of your partner. In fact, you are emotionally detached from your partner’s personal decisions, or decisions that do not affect the relationship as a whole.
You have hobbies, career goals, and dreams that are different from your partner’s. You do not believe that your success is dependent on their success and vice versa. You have friends outside of your couple friend group and vice versa. You each engage in individual activities regularly that bring you joy.
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