I was sitting in my therapist’s office explaining how anxiety has riddle my life with misery. I told her that my natural reaction is to stop the anxious thoughts I was having by cutting them off. Essentially, I wanted to acknowledge they existed without letting them play the tape all the way to the end.
“Exactly”, she said.
I was shocked. This was not the first therapist I had been to. Throughout the years, I had been to several different therapists to treat my depression, anxiety, and complex PTSD. My therapists had changed throughout the years primarily because either I would move to a different city or they would.
“I should be stopping them?” I asked.
“Absolutely”, was her response.
Every therapist and psychologist I had seen had advised me otherwise. They told me to play it out till the end so I could learn to laugh at the ridiculousness at how wild the ending was and learn that the reality was much better.
However, that’s not how it worked out at all.
Instead of laughing at the ridiculousness, my brain began to believe the ridiculousness of these anxious thoughts. I began to live a state of foreboding joy where I believed Dooms Day was just around the corner. I was miserable, anxious, and had come to the belief that my life would amount to nothing good.
Then, I practiced what is called “thought stopping” with my current therapist. My world flipped upside down, in a good way.
The more I practiced, the more I felt confident in myself. I began to believe that my dreams weren’t going to end in fury and fire, but lead to the life I now know is possible. I began practicing more gratitude and seeing more blessings in my life. My depression became non-existent and my anxious thoughts began to subside easier.
Happiness and joy doesn’t lie in the way life goes or doesn’t go. It’s about how you go, or don’t go, through life. You are the only one in the universe that has 100% power over your own mind and thoughts, which means experiencing happiness and joy everyday is completely possible.
Side note: If you’re struggling with your mental health, please seek the help of a professional counselor, therapist, and/or psychologist. These people are trained to give you personal guidance through whatever hardships you’re experiencing. I strongly encourage everyone, no matter how “little” or big their problems, to see a therapist.
What is thought stopping?
Thought stopping is a technique used to stop anxious and panic- or fear-driven thoughts in their tracks. When a negative thought comes to someone’s mind, they are meant to say “STOP” (either internally or out loud), and replace the thought with something positive. This positive thought is often more realistic than the negative thought.
Happiness and joy doesn't lie in the way life goes or doesn't go. It's about how you go, or don't go, through life. Click To TweetHow does thought stopping work?
Your brain is a massive network of neurons and neurotransmitters. There are millions dedicated to thoughts and behavior patterns that accompany them. When you consistently and constantly allow negative thoughts to play all the way through and give them attention, you’re training your brain that the negative thought pattern is reality rather than your experience.
When you practice thought stopping and stop the negative thought while actively replacing it with a positive thought, you’re retraining your brain to your reality. More often than not, the positive thought is a more accurate representation of your current reality.
By retraining your brain and reforming neurotransmitters to replace old ones, you’re breaking a habit and training your mind to look for the good. This leads to increases in happiness, joy, and gratitude. Overall, it sounds like a win.
Want to nerd out and read some medical and psychological literature on the topic? Here’s some articles and journals to start with:
- Hart SL, Hart TA (2010). The future of cognitive behavioral interventions within behavioral medicine. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy: An International Quarterly, 24(4): 344–353.
- Layous K et al. (2011). Delivering happiness: Translating positive psychology intervention research for treating major and minor depressive disorders. Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 17(8): 675–683.
- Lightsey OR, et al. (2012). Can positive thinking reduce negative affect? A test of potential mediating mechanisms. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy: An International Quarterly, 26(1): 71–88.
- McKay M, et al. (2011). Changing patterns of limited thinking. In Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life, 4th ed., pp. 27–45. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.
- McKay M, et al. (2011). Coping with panic. In Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life, 4th ed., pp. 85–104. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.
- McKay M, et al. (2011). Uncovering automatic thoughts. In Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life, 4th ed., pp. 15–25. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.
- Newman CF, Beck AT (2009). Cognitive therapy. In BJ Sadock et al., eds., Kaplan and Sadock’s Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry, 9th ed., vol 2., pp. 2857–2873. Philadelphia: Lippincott Williams and Wilkins.
How can I practice thought stopping right now?
Practicing thought stopping is simple and straightforward. The hard part is to stick with it and to be consistent. It won’t come easy at first. You may forget in the beginning to practice thought stopping until you’re halfway through the negative thought.
It’s not important to be perfect at this. It’s just important to keep trying and being consistent until it becomes second nature.
To start, when you begin to have an anxious, fear-based, and/or panic-driven negative thought, pause what you’re doing. Say “STOP” out loud. By saying “STOP” out loud, you force you mind to pay attention. Replace the thought with something positive.
For example, if you’re driving and you begin to imagine you crashing into the car in front of you and dying, say “STOP” out loud. Stop the negative thought. Now, replace it with a positive thought of you happily arriving to your destination safely.
As time goes on and you become more effective at stopping the negative thoughts, you can switch from saying “STOP” out loud to internally.
Eventually, you’ll get to the point where these negative thoughts are minimal. It will be as though the float through your mind like a cloud floats through the sky, never truly anchoring on anything and allowing everyone to move on in peace.
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