When life starts to feel messy, it’s usually a sign that it’s time to declutter. Normally, we think of “decluttering” in terms of our space. Trust me, that plays a part.
However, sometimes our day-to-day is too cluttered with work that is unrewarding, friends that are really enemies, petty drama, ho-hum social life that’s completely unfulfilling.
Ever feel like it’s just one damn thing after another and you can’t catch a break? Get caught off guard because the friend that you thought was your best friend turned out to be the one to tear you down? Thought you were in the ringer for that promotion and it gets handed to someone else? Convinced the guy you were dating was “the one” to only be ghosted out of the blue?
These are actually all signs that it’s time to declutter.
1. Imagine your ideal life.
This is a step I’m sure you’ve heard before if you’ve dabbled at all in the self-help universe. Why is it so popular? Because it works.
This exercise is meant to act as your compass. Take a time-out to journal what you want you life to look like. If there were no limits and no one to say “no”, what would be your ideal job? Home? Friends? Love life? Family life? Finances? What does your ideal self look like — physically, mentally, and emotionally?
Start saying “no” to everything that doesn’t fit this description. It’s going to feel like you’re a broken record stuck on “no” at first. However, you’ll discover that the more you turn down the things that don’t bring you happiness, the more the things you’re looking for start coming into your life.
It’s pure magic.
Sometimes our day-to-day is too cluttered with work that is unrewarding, friends that are really enemies, petty drama, ho-hum social life that's completely unfulfilling. These are actually all signs that it's time to declutter. Click To Tweet2. Make a list of the things you struggle with.
Am I ever going to be good at juggling? God, no. I can’t even throw straight. Is that fact causing heartache in my life? Not even a little.
So, when I say “things you struggle with”, I mean things that hurt your heart. How is your mental health? Your body image? Your self-care priorities? Your free time? Your hobbies? Are you doing the things you love? Are you around people you love and who love you? Do you have your finances straight? Is your job enjoyable?
These are all things to consider. Don’t be afraid to delve deep. The deeper you go below the surface, the more fulfilling life to be lived.
Take a moment to examine and consider the things you’ve listed. Start making game plans on what you can change.
3. Start with your space.
Now, let’s get down to really decluttering your life. Like I said in the intro, decluttering is usually thought of as a physical thing. And so, it is.
The truth is that you can’t have a decluttered life and live in a space that has never known organization. Ever notice how your anxiety and stress wanes after a thorough cleaning? Our brains do better with spaces that make sense. A space that is cluttered and messy is overwhelming and exhausting.
My rule to live by when decluttering: If you haven’t touched it in a year, get rid of it. Clothes. Papers. God forbid and hello, your pantry. It’s time-consuming, but it feels so damn good afterwards.
4. Let go of toxic people.
This is the hardest part. So often, the people who are most toxic to us are closest to us. That’s how these master manipulators function by being our right hand.
The easy part is lessening space in your heart for toxic people you don’t connect with regularly, like complaining coworkers that aren’t directly next to your cubicle or faraway friends.
However, what if the toxic person is your best friend or a family member? Well, this is the painful part. You have to make a decision: keep them, but set heavy boundaries to protect your well-being or end the relationship.
Friend break-ups and family break-ups can be more painful than romantic break-ups. I’ve written in more detail here about how to let go of toxic people.
5. Work on incorporating better habits.
Once you’ve decluttered your life, space, and mind, you can start working on adding things in.
Add people, or more time with your current people, that make your heart sing. Add more time for hobbies. Add more time for your dream goals.
Truly, it comes down to this: add more time for you.
Buckle down and commit to landing your dream job. Don’t stop dropping resumes and going on interviews until you get it.
Turn down anyone who isn’t your ideal match in your dating life. Make plans with friends who get as excited for your successes as you do.
Schedule plans and events that make you feel alive. Go out and do “the wild thing” that has been on your bucket list for the last decade.
Only say “yes” to the things that make you wake up and feel overjoyed that this is your life.
6. Change your inner voice.
The most important step is this final one. None of this will be permanent if we don’t get this one right.
The way you talk to yourself can either be the kindest words you ever hear or the cruelest words you ever hear. And you are the only one who has 100% power over which one it is.
It will be difficult to talk to yourself the way you deserve until you realize the truth: You deserve love. You deserve kindness. You deserve good things. Always.
Pin that up somewhere if you have a hard time remembering and, then, soar on.
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