Relationships are tricky situations, especially in those beginning stages. And, especially in those stages when you’re searching for the perfect one. Often times, it can feel like you’re gambling with life rather than going on a date with a potential partner.
During these times, it’s important to get a good grip on a life map and a love map. What are you hoping to find in a partner? What key qualities do they have? When you imagine your life with them, what you guys doing on your weekends? What kind of support would you like?
The answers to these questions will all be much better indicators as to who your ideal match is than just relying on what you aesthetically like (aka physical appearances like good hair or green eyes).
In my years of studying successful relationships and what helps a relationship sink or swim, I’ve noticed a few patterns in quality partners. These are a few things that should definitely be on your radar.
1. They are confident with themselves.
Let me tell you about a trap too many women fall into, especially with male counterparts. When you look for a partner in life, you are looking for a partner. An equal.
You are not his mother, therapist, or savior. Ever.
If you are put in that position, then you have not found a good relationship or someone who’s ready for a relationship. You are not meant to mother them. You are not there to be their therapist. You are not there to save them from whatever they’re going through. You are there to enter into a meaningful, supportive relationship with a mature human.
Someone who is ready for a relationship has their shit together. They have their career. They have a means to support themselves financially. They believe in themselves without seeking outside approval. They are confident in their abilities to be a good friend, partner, and person.
2. They are mature.
This goes back to you not existing to become a surrogate mother to another adult. The best person to date is someone who is open to conversations and, more importantly, open to the idea that sometimes they are the ones who have done the hurting. They are willing to apologize without arm-twisting. They believe their behavior impacts others and act accordingly. They’re responsible and take responsibility for their own emotions.
Someone who is mature enough to handle a relationship will never leave you wondering as to what their answers are to hard questions because they respect you, your feelings, and your presence. They are clear with their words and actions.
In my years of studying successful relationships and what helps a relationship sink or swim, I've noticed a few patterns in quality partners. These are a few things that should definitely be on your radar. Click To Tweet3. They are open to new ideas and change.
Being with someone who is stuck with “my way or the highway” is just downright exhausting. You don’t want to be with someone who you have to constantly convince that you might actually have a valid point in a situation.
You’ll know this person when you meet them because they will be incredibly interesting conversationalists. This is because they look at every side of the coin before forming opinions. They’re willing to listen and they’re interested in what you have to say and what your perspective is.
4. They are interested in you and being in a relationship.
This one is always the real kicker. It helps if Point 2 (confidence) is a key player already, but sometimes, it doesn’t make much of a difference.
At the end of the day, you could’ve found your soulmate, your person, your lobster. But, if they aren’t interested in you or a relationship or a relationship with you, then it’s a lost cause.
You cannot magic someone into liking you. I think the world would be a very different place if we could. However, even if you could, why would you? You shouldn’t feel like you have to convince your potential life partner to like you or think you’re good enough. If they can’t see that on their own, then consider it their loss and keep moving to find someone who understands your value and worth.
5. They are kind.
Kindness is such a widely underrated trait, but one that makes all the difference in relationships. Kind people are polite. They’re compassionate. They consider the perspective of others. They frequently put themselves in someone else’s shoes.
All of these aspects are vital for a thriving, fun, and happy relationship. Someone who is kind is easy to trust and comforting to be around. When hard times come your way, as life sometimes has it, they can be amazing supporters, which in turn makes it that much easier to communicate and support them when tides turn.
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