Confidence is not easily gained, but easily lost. It’s hard to feel confident when you don’t feel like you have anything of significant value to offer. However, I want you to know that you’re not insignificant. That’s the lack of confidence talking.
I used to struggle with confidence quite a bit. Every time I would go out in public, such as to the mall or to work, I would always think, “everyone is looking at me”. That thought alone was enough to turn me into a deer in headlights or wish to permanently hide out. Of course, it’s not true. I doubt anyone was looking at me.
Confidence is a state of mind. Even when I’m feeling insecure, I can put it aside temporarily because I know I capable of putting it aside. If I can, you can. You are perfectly capable of doing this. These are 10 ideas to get you started, but I’m sure you’ll be on a roll with many more by the end of this.
1. Practice self-care.
It’s popular for a reason. So many of us are discovering that the missing link to feeling good about ourselves is taking care of ourselves and including “me” time in our jam-packed schedules.
It’s hard to feel confident if you don’t feel good about yourself. Self-care can include skincare, soaking with a bath bomb, meditating, reading, or time to do the things you love. Whatever makes your heart sing is an excellent choice for self-care.
2. Nix your negative inner voice.
That inner voice that tells you that you suck, nobody cares, and you probably can’t do it is not your own voice. We’re all born thinking anything is possible. Our childhoods ride on that. Somewhere along the way, somebody told us that we’re just not good enough, which is a root of many of our insecurities.
So, when you start to get an inner voice telling you that you’re not worth it, you’re not smart enough, you’re not good enough, you’re not attractive enough, can you tell me: Who’s voice is it? Is it your parent’s? Your ex’s? Old friend’s?
Decide to listen to your own voice that you are good enough. It’s going to feel awkward saying that to yourself at first, but over time and repetition, it will feel like second nature. Then, when someone starts to question whether or not you can, you’ll already know (and believe) the answer. Don’t give your power away. Believe you’re good enough.
You are perfectly capable of doing this. These are 10 ideas to get you started, but I'm sure you'll be on a roll with many more by the end of this. Click To Tweet3. Remind yourself of the good.
You’re good at things. If you’re reading this and thinking, “I’m not good at anything”, then I have two things to say to you:
- Everyone (yes, everyone) is good at something because everyone has a purpose. If you feel like you don’t know where you’re strength is, it’s because you’re not paying attention. Discover more of yourself.
- You’ve got a strong victim mentality going in this area of your life and it’s hurting you. You’re capable of achieving your dreams, but you’re getting in your own way. How do you stop? By realizing that you have power and using it.
You are good at things. Focus on what they are. Practice them every day. Work at becoming the best at those things instead of mediocre with the things you struggle with.
4. Remember: we’re all human.
There’s no such thing as “perfect”. Some people can come pretty close to making it seem like they’re perfect and/or their life is perfect. Don’t let that intimidate you. 99% of the time, it’s a facade to mask their insecurities.
This is particularly easy to do these days thanks to social media. You can read more here about the truth about social media. Long-story-short: people are now, not just doing highlight reels, but creating situations that aren’t actually real.
When I’m feeling nervous about a situation and feel like I’m lacking confidence to face forward, it’s helpful for me to remember that these people that are involved are people, too. Maybe they have a higher status financially. Maybe they’re higher up on the career ladder. Maybe I feel like they’re more attractive and/or knowledgeable. Regardless, when I’m feeling less than, I bring it back to the truth: they’re human, too. They also make mistakes, feel insecure, have bad days, and have awkward moments.
5. Fear is just fear.
I have PTSD. It’s not a secret. I’ve struggled with it for well over a decade. I grew up with it. It’s engrained in me. So, I find myself uniquely qualified to talk about this point.
With PTSD, it runs you into the ground. Everything is bigger than it actually is. Everything can be the scariest thing ever because we’ve already lived it before. Why wouldn’t it happen again?
Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. We’re not God and we can’t control the future. Fear doesn’t have to be who you are. You certainly are not required to live your life by it.
It’s an emotion like any other emotion. It is free to pass you by. When you feel fear around doing something significant, it becomes even more important that you go through with it.
6. Posture helps more than you think.
Stand up straight. Keep your chin level with the ground. Shrug your shoulders up to your ears. Now roll them down your back. Ta-da! You’re standing straight.
I’ve struggled with this for awhile. I started slouching after I hit puberty and woke up with a DD-sized bust almost over night. In an attempt to hide myself from the world, I started slouching and making myself smaller.
If you’re a sloucher, standing up straight constantly will feel foreign. You’ll probably find yourself frequently adjusting your posture throughout the day. Keep at it and it’ll come easier. Standing up straight tells our brains, “hey, this is important and I’m important”.
7. Keep a positive sense of humor.
When in doubt, see Point #4 and laugh it off. We’re all going to experience embarrassing and awkward moments. However, you get to be the deciding factor as to whether or not those moments are defining moments, as well.
Humor will save more often than not. Don’t take things too seriously. Let your playful side out and look at the funny side of things. It’s okay to not be serious 100% of time and allow your personality to show. Lightening the mood makes it significantly easier to be confident.
8. Imagine yourself as the most powerful person in the world.
Because you are. You are the most powerful person in your world. Don’t hand over your power so willingly to others.
When I’m having an extremely hard time with confidence, I take a deep breath and imagine that I am the most powerful person in the room. It will feel ridiculous at first. I definitely fought feelings akin to imposter syndrome. However, if you stick with it, you’ll feel it: your own power. And it’s amazing.
9. Start the day with reading.
Wake up 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 60 minutes earlier and pull out a book. It can be any book you like. Fiction or non-fiction. New release or a classic. Totally up to you.
Reading is knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power can help your confidence immensely. (See Point #8 again.)
Books give you perspectives from people and places that you may not experience otherwise. They are doors to different worlds and new ideas. Every day you spend reading is another day that you spend acquiring knowledge, information, and perspective. It’s easier to be confident when you feel confident intellectually.
10. Fake it till you make it.
This is a common suggestion because it’s tried and true. Confidence is one of the best things you can fake until it comes naturally.
What does that mean? Imagine who you are and who you will become when you’re confident with yourself. Now, be that person. Wear what they would wear. Say what they would say. Take on projects they would do. Fake it till you are that person.
It will happen if you persist through the hard parts of self-doubt and roadblocks. You are fully capable of being that person. You don’t have to believe that 100% right now, but you do have to just do. Commit. Be.
If you got value from this article, I would love if you shared it with someone who you think will love it, too.
