The 7 deadly sins are so prominent in our culture that any given person can list them off, whether or not they’re religious. Just like there are 7 deadly sins in life, there are also 7 deadly sins for your relationship, whether your single, dating, engaged, or married. These 7 aspects can be huge relationship killers.
Focusing too much on physical.
When I was 15 years old, I took a vow of chastity. At the time, it was a logical move. If I’m not physical with anyone, it’s one less thing to worry about. As an adult, it’s a smart heart move. If I remove the physical intensity from my relationship, I’m forced to look at the challenges and do something about them. One of the biggest mistakes a couple can make is focusing too much on sex (or lack there of) and not enough on the emotional challenges of a relationship. Your relationship could be dead and stalled, even if your sex life is active. If you remove the physical aspect from the relationship, will your relationship hold firm or fall apart? This applicable to every relationship level: dating, engage, married.
Taking, but not giving.
The sin of greed. This can come in many forms. One of the more common ones is constantly asking, but never giving anything back in return. Worse? Asking, receiving, and then getting your panties in a knot when you’re asked for something in return. This situation is too common. Our egos get in the way. All we can think about are all the things we do without any regard as to what kind of a day your partner had or how some of the ways they help are so expected that they’re not even thanked anymore. Gratitude is the best attitude.
We’re only human. A lot of our disappointments in life are completely our fault because we have expectations that aren’t congruent with reality. Thus is the same for our relationships. It’s okay to have high standards, but you need to be fair. Be sure what you’re asking for and you’re expectations are considerate, compassionate, and kind of your partner’s current situation. Even if you live together and have your routine down, you both live very different lives. I’m sure your man is SuperMan, but don’t chop his legs off and then ask him to fly.
Letting the love fizzle out.
Love can fizzle out in lots of ways. This also means there’s a lot of ways to rekindle it. Go on dates. Talk to each other instead of your phones. Talk about things other than your kids. Show appreciation. Thank them for all that they do every day. Do something for them just because. Make a conscious effort to turn all of these things into habits. When you do, the flame will easily stay lit.
Fighting instead of talking.
Everybody fights. However, if your main mode of communication is through arguments, then something has gone wrong. The goal of communication is to calmly communicate your thoughts, emotions, and fears on a topic. Emphasis on “calmly”. Decisions should not be made by grunting out a “Fine” after a screaming/slamming the door match. Aim for consensus, not compromise and not right versus wrong.
Jealousy is a hungry emotion. One suspicion leads to the next and soon you think something is going on when there is really nothing going on. A relationship without faith and trust are just two people who hang out. When we get to the root of most relationship issues, somebody somewhere is trusting their “gut feeling” more than their partner. Our gut feelings are terrible at playing psychic, yet we are still willing to trust them more. Don’t base your trust on a hunch.
Believing your relationship is too good.
On the other side of the spectrum from most of this is the belief that your relationship is in a great place. This may absolutely be true, and if it is, I’m happy for you! However, don’t let your defenses down. Sometimes this leads to no talking and all assuming. Why talk about the bad stuff if you don’t believe it’s there? Why check in with your partner if it’s all good? You see the quick downfall. Stay on your toes and work to keep the joy alive.